make my strength your own as you strengthen me

spent the day off with my sons. a busy hectic frantic fun day sprinkled with moments of being absolutely grateful for my life.  I especially was surprised how much I enjoyed feeding my three month old his mother's breast milk.  He had me straight in his gaze and didn't turn away. I felt a connection not quite like the any I have already felt with my young son.  As connecting as it was, I also felt the a sincere sense of responsibility for this persons life and also the encouragement to accomplish that task day in day out- not with ease- but with vigor.

he's telling me "you can do what set yourself upon"  and yet at the same time "i love you just as much as if you do or don't succeed.  I suppose I'm projecting what I most want to hear or feel these days onto a moment that by rights I can't explain truly the feeling in my eye connection with Clarke. Much like the power I feel in when John has the joy of seeing me at the end of his day at daycare. It is the feeling of whatever I need it to be most a that moment.  I hope he feels the same when he sees me.

thank you god for my sons. I suppose I feel your love through them. I'm sorry I wasn't quite so aware of your presence before you gave me the responsibility and privilege to rear them. I am intent on giving them the example of a man who travels a good path.


You will travel far, my little Kal-El. But we will never leave you... even in the face of our deaths... the richness of our lives shall be yours. All that I have, all that I've learned, everything I feel... all this, and more I... I bequeath you, my son. You will carry me inside you... all the days of your life. You will make my strength your own, and see my life through your own eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father, the son. This is all I ... all I can send you, Kal-El.

'keeping up with the joneses'- waiting for The Singularity Event / i can't win

The Singularity 

Futurist Ray Kurzweil and his team at KurzweilAI spend a lot of time developing future-of-technology scenarios--eventualities such as an Internet in 2050 that is a trillion times faster than what he have now, artificial intelligence before 2100, and space warfare. But Kurzweil's most famous prediction is something called the Singularity: the moment when humans will physically merge with machines. For Kurzweil, the Singularity will be a technological flashpoint at which humans become nearly immortal cybernetic beings. In addition, our minds will become faster, have greater capacity, and be able to share knowledge with others in much the same way that we transfer files between computers today. Everything will be great in this new cybernetic future...until a superhacker taps into our brains and turns the lot of us into an army of cyberzombies. The good news: Cyberzombies don't at all mind being 
cyberzombies.

4G, 3G, OG, WHO GIVES A SHIT, THE SPEED AT WHICH MY LIFE IS CONNECTED WILL ONLY HASTEN THE CRAP OR THE JOY. fuck speed I want quality.

THE SINGULARITY


####BREAK IN THOUGHT####

I aim I shoot I miss,  I rationalize. I wasn't too interested anyways. 

Have I ever been how I perceive myself? Ironically, what is my brightest star is also my black mark.

Word of the Week (try to use it tonight)

dé·col·le·tage

 noun 
\(ˌ)dā-ˌkä-lə-ˈtäzh, (ˌ)dā-ˌkȯl-ˈtäzh, ˌde-klə-\

Definition of DÉCOLLETAGE

1

: the low-cut neckline of a dress

2

: a décolleté dress

3

: ¹bust 2

 See décolletage defined for English-language learners »

Origin of DÉCOLLETAGE

French, action of cutting or wearing a low neckline, fromdécolleter

First Known Use: 1894

A more in depth look at decolletage

Moth on Fire

Like moths to a flame
Johnny Hobson walks in shame
the streets of New York
Feels like such a dork
the girl he drove up to see
wanted none of what he was selling
she sent him off, telling
him that she knows what its like...
but she's just not into him,
as much as he is into her.
moth on fire!
moth on fire!
can't satisfy his desire
Half moth, Half flame, All man.

-Drew Meschter


The metaphor of Moth to John
Although not written in metaphorical form to that of the behavior of John,  it is quite enlightening (horrible pun, I know)   if read as allegory.  Additionally, please think if this person wrote it not metaphorically but completely literal, now that's some scary shit.
Allegory  


'The Blake'
2 parts Gin
3 parts Cranberry Juice
make it Dirty - add two cheese puff or one Doritos chip (regular flavor)


Many thanks to Jourdan Frain


NOTE: if not in the mood for "a dirty Blake" eschew the cheese puffs and Doritos for a splash of Orange Juice and you will have what some wanker named the Wine Duchess calls a "Chase Manhattan" (gay name).  Additionally there are many other fine Gin/Cranberry/ 'Other" cocktails of choice.  Click Here

10 staples

4. Remember how long thou hast been putting off these things, and how often thou hast received an opportunity from the gods,and yet dost not use it.  Thou must now at last perceive of what universe thou art a part, and of what administrator of the universe thy existence is an efflux, and that a limit of time is fixed for thee, which if thou dost not use for clearing away the clouds from thy mind, it will go and thou wilt go, and it will never return.  -Marcus Aurelius

As I was receiving the sixth or seventh staple to the back of my head, I became resolute.  Resolute to not leave the world with too many more 'what ifs', there is no longer anymore time to put off, there is no longer any more room in my life  to be afraid of uncertainty, to be afraid to act upon conviction. then I passed out from a combination of local anesthetics, the goodness of a banana bag coursing though my intravenous system, and that particularly numbing brown out exhaustion that comes with one too many cigarettes combines with long island ice teas (hold the ice tea).

I AM MINE

ef·flux  (flks)

n.

1. A flowing outward.

2. Something that flows out or forth; an effluence.

3. A passing or an expiration, as of time.