make my strength your own as you strengthen me

spent the day off with my sons. a busy hectic frantic fun day sprinkled with moments of being absolutely grateful for my life.  I especially was surprised how much I enjoyed feeding my three month old his mother's breast milk.  He had me straight in his gaze and didn't turn away. I felt a connection not quite like the any I have already felt with my young son.  As connecting as it was, I also felt the a sincere sense of responsibility for this persons life and also the encouragement to accomplish that task day in day out- not with ease- but with vigor.

he's telling me "you can do what set yourself upon"  and yet at the same time "i love you just as much as if you do or don't succeed.  I suppose I'm projecting what I most want to hear or feel these days onto a moment that by rights I can't explain truly the feeling in my eye connection with Clarke. Much like the power I feel in when John has the joy of seeing me at the end of his day at daycare. It is the feeling of whatever I need it to be most a that moment.  I hope he feels the same when he sees me.

thank you god for my sons. I suppose I feel your love through them. I'm sorry I wasn't quite so aware of your presence before you gave me the responsibility and privilege to rear them. I am intent on giving them the example of a man who travels a good path.


You will travel far, my little Kal-El. But we will never leave you... even in the face of our deaths... the richness of our lives shall be yours. All that I have, all that I've learned, everything I feel... all this, and more I... I bequeath you, my son. You will carry me inside you... all the days of your life. You will make my strength your own, and see my life through your own eyes, as your life will be seen through mine. The son becomes the father, and the father, the son. This is all I ... all I can send you, Kal-El.